Five Minute Free Write: Desire vs. Self-Deception

I don't like this topic. It’s boring. My ponytail is weighing on my weave and giving me follicle pain disorder. Either the world got exponentially more annoying this week or I have PMS.

Facebook is giving me targeted ads now. Maybe your bi-polar diagnosis is really PMDD. Actually I forget the term, it's Basically Mega PMS. There is no cure for this. Except maybe a hysterectomy. But this also plunges you into instant old age and turns your bones into crumbling bone powder and makes you grow a mustache. Why is it they were handing hysterectomies out like vag candy at one time and now you could be limping into the doctor’s office, dragging your reproductive organs behind you in a wheelbarrow and they’re like, hmm have you tried Kegels? Have you tried Prozac?

No, but I might try murder.

Nurse!

Netflix is making a scary movie about Nurse Ratched called, fittingly, Ratched. Even the previews made me afraid.

Our neighbor paid my son $200 to water his plants while he was on vacation for a month. Who gets to go on vacation for a month? Lucky.

They hid the money in a candy bar. Those are some nice-ass neighbors. I wish I had something good to write about. The political world still seems scary and doomed.

My cat keeps killing birds then dragging them into the house. Poor birds. How did that nice kitten become a killer?