America's Next Great Author

I submitted a video pitch, written pitch, bio, artist statement, and a ten page written sample America's Next Great Author. For the video, you were supposed to say your name, where you’re from, and something interesting about yourself before giving your pitch, but I skipped the last part on accident. I tried about fifty times to redo it but I couldn’t get through the pitch again without messing up, so I just submitted the one without what makes me unique. Also I don’t have anything good that makes me unique.

If, by some miracle, I make it to the semi-finals and get to go to New Jersey - everyone at work laughed when I said that. When I get to go to beautiful Newark!!

Actually, I really would be excited to go to Newark. Even if it amounted to nothing and I wasted a bunch of money. It’s better than sitting around my house playing Woodoku on my phone and watching reality TV. Although technically, all of those years of reality TV watching was actually training.

Of the one hundred semi-finalists that show up, they only pick twenty to do their pitch. Which in some ways would suck to go all that way and not get a shot, but I think even if you don’t pitch out loud, you still get to have your work professionally critiqued and I guess you still might get on camera while waiting in the audience looking hopeful and disappointed.

It would be cool to have bragging rights (Only I would brag about this) bragging rights to say you were a semi-finalist in a reality tv show audition. I would omit the part where I paid for airfare and a hotel and food and cabs or ubers. Kind of a low-key lie of omission and let people think I got flown out there to compete. I mean, I would get flown out there, technically. It’s just that I’d be paying for it.